Rage-Face Angry Pants

So, I read this article from Psychology Today. After a discussion with my significant other (who intelligently neglected to assert whether or not she thought I had a problem with being rage-face angry pants) we decided their “steps” wouldn’t work for me. Here’s why.

1. Be Aware of Your Triggers

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(Image from funnyjunk.com)

 

 

So… everything? Being “conscious” and “watchful” of things like overuse of the word “literally;” drivers who think that smoking, texting, and putting on an atrocious shade of lipstick won’t make them kill themselves and everyone else on the road; Writers who claim the title but never do any actual, you know, WRITING; cunt-nugget in laws who can’t even be bothered to– wait. Won’t go there. Point is, they’re everywhere. What am I supposed to do, live under a fucking rock?

2. Ask yourself, “Is it worth it?”

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(Image from ukcolumn.com)

 

 

Fucking duh. You ever felt the adrenaline rush that comes after a satisfying 5k run? I haven’t, but I imagine it’s like that.

3. Find Another Outlet

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(Image from metacafe.com)

 

 

But rage-facing IS my outlet. It’s either that, or end up on cops with my face ear-deep in the mud.

4. Practice Calming Mantras and Sayings

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Image from lifeinprogress.ca

 

OooooommmmmI’mGonnaFuckingKillYou

OooooommmmmYou’reATwatWaffle

OoooooommmmmIfISeeYouAgainIMightExplode

OooooommmmmHateHateStabStab

FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck

CuntCUNTCuntCUNTCuntCUNT

Actually, I take it back. I could probably get into that one.