How the F*** Do I Name My Characters?

If you’re a parent (or even if you’re not), it’s easy to understand the agony behind choosing a name for this squirming mass of flesh you’ve created. You want something that’ll represent them, something that’ll stand out, but not too much, and God forbid you pick something with an automatic and unfortunate nick-name attached.

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As writers, we go through the same torment. We peruse all the baby name databases. We say their names over and over to see how it’ll sit on someone’s tongue should they read it out loud. We scribble them in notebooks and on napkins and try to imagine a face that’ll reflect the person we want them to be. It’s torture, but it’s vital to the success of a book (in which I define “success” as a book readers talk about or think about after the cover is closed).

First, I want to say that I’m not knocking the Marks and Julies of the fiction world. Names don’t have to be unusual to stand out. It’s all about the name that accompanies the personality. Example: Andrew Yancy from Carl Hiassen’s BAD MONKEY and RAZOR GIRL. Pretty standard name, right? But when paired with the ironic swagger of an ex-detective-now-roach-patrolman, it’s a name that’ll stick in the reader’s mind. He’s Andrew, not Drew or Andy. Yancy is the kind of surname with a nondescript background, so you’re free to mold him any way you like in your mind.

For the writer who wants a more unusual name without throwing in useless consanents and ridiculous accent marks, I give you these examples:

Bunny Munro from THE DEATH OF BUNNY MUNRO. The name “Bunny” is ironic, given his less than soft nature, making it unusual enough to stand out. The same principle goes for Fat Charlie from ANANSI BOYS who is anything but fat and Abby Normal from Christopher Moore’s BLOODSUCKING FIENDS series who would love to be anything but normal.

You could go for something more literal, like SERGE STORMS from pretty much any Tim Dorsey novel who blows through the book like a category 5 hurricane on a mix of speed and coffee. Or there’s Mr. Wednesday from AMERICAN GODS, whose literal meaning takes a little bit of digging. His name is one of convenience, granted to him when he asks Shadow Moon what day it is and then replies, “Today is my day.” That statement alone is a summation of Mr. Wednesday’s character, which gives his name meaning.

Then there are names that carry with them the entire heart of the story. Osceola Bigtree from SWAMPLANDIA isn’t the protagonist, but she carries in her name (and her character) the soul of the book, which takes place in the swampy underbelly of South Florida.

In the end, readers will interpret your character names however they want. I could be totally off about Osceola, but her name stuck with me because I was able to extract meaning and because Karen Russell GAVE her name meaning, even if it wasn’t the same as mine. The name you choose isn’t as important to your characters as the reason behind it. Sometimes, it’s just because the name “suits” a character. That’s PERFECTLY FINE. Names that suit characteristics will make sense and serve to draw a clearer picture for the reader, making your story memorable.

I’ve given you some of mine; Now, let’s hear some character names that’ve really stuck with you, long after you’ve finished reading.

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Heir to the (not so) Throne – Public Domain and Legacy

Publisher Weekly published an article today regarding the beloved character Sherlock Holmes and an author/lawyer asking that he be legally declared within public domain.

You can read the article here: http://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/digital/copyright/article/56020-lawsuit-seeks-to-put-sherlock-holmes-in-the-public-domain.html

The debate occurring in the comment thread boiled down to this: once work is able to be considered public domain, should it even be considered so, regardless of the law? Or should the heirs be taken into consideration even if the author has not built a trust in which to do so?

One commenter observed that it’d behoove an author to dictate in detail what should happen with their work and the rights to their work when the public domain time occurs. 

It made me wonder – what would I do?

I love my children. I love my partner. But should my characters or my stories reach a point in which other writers wish to weave them into their own prose, why should I deny them that?

It ALWAYS comes down to money, but coming from a writer who has to seek out other ways in which to make ends meet, money isn’t everything. It really, really isn’t.

If I am so lucky as to have a writing career that is monetarily successful, I will set aside money for my daughters to have a good start. They will go to college and they will not want for anything during those four years in which they discover their passions and pursue their dreams. But then, they’re on their own. They will make their own way. They will work hard. And they will appreciate it when they are older. 

What they will NOT do is grip the noose around my characters and my work purely for money’s sake. My characters were created to live, to thrive, to be read. I hope that they do.