It’s that time of year. NaNo is over, the whiskey is poured, and it’s time for some fuckin’ cookies.
An author friend, S.M. Carriere, slapped my face with this sticky note that said “make me cookies, bitch.” I don’t bake, so instead I promised to share a recipe for my favorite holiday cookies PROVIDED she doesn’t sneak into my apartment anymore.
Please be warned– Because I am a shit, this recipe will call for specialized equipment. Namely, a pizzelle maker. It looks like this:
Pretty cool, right? My grandmother had one that looked so old it looked like it could fall apart at any minute. I was FASCINATED with the thing. When she made pizzelles I stood so close to the iron I practically burned my nose on it They’re THAT good.
Now for the recipe:
Ish you will need:
- 6 eggs
- 4 cups of flour
- 1.5 cups of sugar
- 1 cup of butter, melted and cooled
- 4 teaspoons of baking powder
- 3 tablespoons star anise extract
- 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
Ish you need to do with all that ish:
1. Beat the eggs then add sugar gradually. Add it all at once and all you get are lumps. Lumps are assholes. Make it frothy and pretty.
2. Add butter and both extracts to the mixture. My grandmother used anise seeds too. They added some texture to the batter which I really like.
3. Add sifted flour and baking powder to the mixture. Stir with a spoon, otherwise, if you’re like me, you’ll get flour everywhere except in the damn bowl.
4. Drop about 1 tablespoon of the finished batter onto the iron and cook until golden brown.
5. Dust with powdered sugar.
6. NOM.
Oh, also, I have to tag people for this.
Renee Miller, because she doesn’t bake. Hanna Elizabeth, because duh. Also Forbes West and Travis Mohrman. Lets see what weirdness they come up with.
You fucker…
Let’s call this payback for that email you sent a week or so ago.
Well… fine.
Because, “Duh”? What does that mean?! I need to decide whether to be offended or not.
“Duh” because I include you and Renee in ALL the shenanigans. It’s love. Swear.
Okay. I guess you’re off the hook.
Oh and since I don’t blog, here’s my recipe…
My mom used to throw these together because they’re quick, easy, and delicious. Everything you want without heating up your kitchen (unless you want to heat up your kitchen, in which case, find another recipe).
Chocolate Oatmeal No Bake Cookies
1/2 C Butter
2 C Sugar
1/2 C Milk
4 Tbsp Cocoa
&
1/2 C Peanut Butter
3 1/2 C Quick cooking Oats
2 tsp. Vanilla
Add the first 4 ingredients in a saucepan. Bring to a rolling boil, and boil for 1 minute. Stir in the next 3 ingredients and drop onto wax paper. Let them cool until set.
I’d add a picture but they don’t last long enough for that.
Christ, those sound delicious.
They’re SOO good. And they don’t take long, which is dangerous …to my waistline. 😀
Thanks. Now I have to go buy one of these damn things so I can make these noms. Good thing my better half gets a discount on kitchen and chef shit.