Something, Something Title Whatever

As I sit here tweaking the next draft of my latest MS, I can’t help but think that this is the THIRD book I’ve managed to write in two years.

I’m no James Patterson, but that’s a fuck ton of words.

And then I’m overwhelmed by this weird sadness.

I think, I’ve devoted so much time to this writing life–not just the two years of solid writing, but another 4 years of learning how to do it in the first place. I’ve poured so much of what I see as my identity into this title–WRITER–that the moment I deviate from the routine, or think for even a minute that I’d want to do something else with my day, I start to lose myself.

I get depressed.

I think, what if this isn’t what I’m supposed to do? What if I’m not good enough? What if this shit-shoveling I manage to do on a semi-daily basis is a waste of time?

It’s not. I know it’s not. At least, the lizard part of my brain knows it’s not. I always come around.

But sometimes…

Sometimes it’s harder than others.

Today. Today, it’s hard.

Do me a favor and write a few awesome words. Throw me some wordsmith karma.

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11 thoughts on “Something, Something Title Whatever

  1. I hear ya, loud and clear. I’ve been feeling this way a lot lately. I know the cure (writing) but I’ve been resiting. Why? Self-punishment? Delayed Gratification? Torture? All of the above? Fuck if I know. What’s even worse, I convince myself that I don’t have any ideas, let alone good ones. Of course, the minute I start actually writing, this fog clears and I find I have plenty to write about. In fact, tonight I decided to break my fast and write something. Anything would do, really. No sooner did I start writing, and a story unfolded before me. I’m sure it will suck, but at least maybe my writer-soul will find some peace.

    I hope you find the same. In the meantime, know that this isn’t unique to us. I’m pretty sure all writers go through this. Some just have better coping mechanisms.

  2. Dang, I do this too. Had one of these days this week. My professor used to say that if you feel that way or if something is difficult, then you’re on the right track. So I’d say you’re on the right track.
    You should also go watch some funny videos haha. I always do that. Actually, I do that too much, which is probably why I’ve been such a slow writer lately. oops

  3. Only four years mastering your craft? Come back to me when you’ve been at it for twenty. Sigh…now I’m depressed, too. The karma is: you’re doing 5x better than me. So celebrate! Dance!

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