I Got Lost

I’ve returned to pester you. Are you afraid? You should be, because this author lady is back with a vengeance, a new breed of cynicism akin to the “super bug,” and freshly clipped fingernails set for typing.

But first, I have a confession.

I tried to not write. What? Yes, that’s right. Write? No, right. Correct.

I blame Palahniuk. Genius as he is, I think he didn’t realize the power of a stupid little quote in the hands of a heartbroken, misguided little writer. Moi….

“The worst part about writing fiction is the fear of wasting your life behind a keyboard. The idea that, dying, you’ll realize you only lived on paper. Your only adventures were make believe, and while the world fought and kissed, you sat in some dark room masturbating and making money.”

I thought to myself, “I want to fight and kiss… and I’m in the dark room NOT making money.”

I was already in a hole halfway to China thanks to my heart being played as someone’s pinata, so I stopped. Sure, I continued to journal, but I didn’t write the way I used to. I ignored that bitch, Serendipity. I stayed away from the writers group I’d been religiously a part of for nearly a year.

“How can you write anything, anyway,” I justified to myself, “If you’ve never experienced anything?” Experience, I did. The fruits of those experiences are now to be a part of my second blog, “Over Katrina’s Rainbow.” The writing dregs, well, those are for you good people. No need to thank me.

So, yes, I’m back. Are you ready, because I am.

One thought on “I Got Lost

  1. Welcome back!Sure, in the eyes of non-writers and hopelessly depressed writers (whose depressions mostly have nothing to do with writing per-se but with random chemical imballances and whatnot), being a writer looks like "wasting ones life behind a keyboard".I completely, totally and vigurously disagree.Whenever I hear that one should "live" first, so he can have truckloads of colorful, meaningfull experiences to draw on, and only then step down from the stage, give up their glorious life and withdraw into a damp corner at the age of 105 to finally do what their hearts screamed for all along — my toenails start curling and I bare my teeth.How many billions of people are out there, "living" their daily lives away from damp corners — without learning sh*t about themselves or the world they live in? How many get married, once or several times, without udnerstanding the least bit of love? How many billions pass through life, through their only chance, and leave nothing behind?Well, I'd rather "waste" that kind of life in front of a keyboard that helps my mind expand and my existence turn meaningful, to me, and hopefully one day to others.So, welcome back Katrina — shake off the ticks and leeches that think they know better what's good for you — and let the words flow!

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